Somehow that echoes inside because maybe I really do need to evaluate why I feel anything and everything so intensely. But is that not what life is about? Actually having the recognition of some sense of being alive?

I simply cannot be the only one. No matter how lonely I feel I refuse to believe that.

I know you don't want to hear my shit.

BUT LISTEN UP:

You do not know what you are missing. It is hidden in everything, from the depths of despair to the epitome of elation. And wasn't that such a lame use of alliteration? You know it was. But hey, kid! You're alive! Whether you care or not it's a proven fact through and through. No one wants to hear it...that maybe not everything is good. And maybe it is worth being picky to make yourself happier.

Maybe just because I feel this way doesn't mean it is. But I say...I say that if you aren't aware, you aren't anything. You go through life as a child without understanding and as you grow up you begin to gain that awareness. I think you have just decided to remain numb. That is the only explanation for any of this. It will not go away, and I will not go away.

There is something about doing everything so passionately that it cannot be quelled.

I would give anything right now to not feel like this. And maybe I don't have to. Maybe it is all right in front of my face and I am ignoring it. Maybe it needs to come find me. If I make it out alive I will show you.

Or at least just let me know that, hey, you're with me on this one.

---

I think that is what staying home all day being sick does to you.

Regardless...

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